Free luxury boat rides in Bangkok Thailand

The Mandarin Oriental comes in to ram the Hilton's boat.

I stumbled on a little secret recently, which I'll share with you ... come closer as I'm going to have to whisper.

Recently I had to attend a wedding at the Mandarin Oriental Bangkok. Hard to get to in peak hour traffic on a Sunday evening. So my partner devised a route which got us to Saphan Thaksin Skytrain station which delivered us right to the waterfront.

The area is the millionaire's Golden Mile of hotels on the fabled Chao Phraya River: the Shangri-La, the Sheraton, the Mandarin Oriental, the Hilton Millenium, etc. And -- here's the best part -- all of them offer a free shuttle boat service for their guests. And, um, you. Jing jing.

Prefer something in leather? Try the Sheraton's boat.

All you do is turn up, wait at the jetty and roughly every half hour each hotel's boat turns up. Just hop on, quick smile and wave to the skipper, and you're on your way, always remembering to look as though you own the place, of course.

Enjoy a 10-15 minute cruise, take some photos, hop off at the hotel. Wander around looking at how the other half live on your way to wherever you have to get to. Of course, you could always be nice and stop for a drink at their bar, or a meal at one of the fabulous riverside restaurants. Then, repeat the process on the way home. Down to the jetty, on the boat, back to the BTS station.

On the other hand, you can also take public speed boat ferries from Saphan Thaksin up and down the river for an extortionate 15 baht ... that's 50 cents. A fast and fin way to get your bearings in the incredible city of Bangkok in Amazing Thailand.

Hope this is useful advice for those still waiting for their ship to come in.

Know any other good 'free' options in and around Bangkok you want to share? Leave a comment here.

Shedding some light on Bangkok hotels ...

It's funny how sometimes the little things stand out (as my companion was just saying recently!).

I like reading. A lot. To be point of being compulsive and anti-social. Which explains the strained eyes and furrowed expression on my face as a result.

So, when you check into a place like the Sofitel Bangkok Silom, it's easy to be blind-sided by the more obvious lavish trappings like parquet wooden floors, the money-shot views of Silom Road and the Chao Phraya River and so on. But the thing I loved more than anything else?

The reading light. A simple torch-like device on each side of the bed. His and hers. So if I want to stay up all night reading, my companion can rest undisturbed by the strong pinpoint of light angled beautifully on to my book (something serious like Gone Bamboo, if I remember correctly).

In some hotels, you either have a 5 watt Save-the-Earth bulb glowing dimly about one metre away, or you have to flick on the full Broadway stage production above the bed, and feel like you're at opening night at the theatre for a curtain call, jing jing. (Then you're talking of a standing ovation of a completely different type.)

So the Sofitel's little reading lights are a great touch. They also have a larger one (about 60cm wide) on a stand across the top of the plush chair, perfect for kicking back and reading, too.

Somebody's thinking about it from the user's point of view. I like that. And so does my partner; big time.



See more about the Sofitel at www.sofitel.com

The only Thai restaurant with a Michelin Hat ... and her new sister.

You'd think they'd mow the lawn more regularly here.

A lot of folks are talking about Sra Bua restaurant in the new Siam Kempinski Hotel, Bangkok.

It's not like Bangkok really needed another Thai restaurant when this one came along, really. I mean there are already around 65,000,000 Thai restaurants in the country ... approximately one for every man, woman and child.

But Sra Bua comes in with a huge pedigree. You see, it's the sister restaurant of Kiin Kiin in Copenhagen which is the only Thai restaurant in the world to ever win a Michelin star, jing jing.

So the expectations are high. Is it any different? Well yes. Don't go in there expecting your standard pad thai goong for 25 baht though.

Instead, in the surreal rice-paddy-in-the-city setting, you will find your green curry comes out in a mousse form. (No, not the deer with antler, I meant the foamy whipped format). Or your red curry is served like an ice cream. Or your veggies look like they just been pullled from the earth and are still covered in soil. 

"Waiter, there's sand in my meal."

"No, sir, that's just decoration."

"I knew that."

So for something different, something special in the modern Thai department, I certainly take my hat off to Sra Bua.

Have you tried Sra Bua? Share your comments on the meal and experience here.

Address: Siam Kempinski Hotel Bangkok, 991/9 Rama 1 Rd.

www.kempinski.com Tel: 02-162-9000

Lady in Red and Superwoman spotted in a Bangkok hotel.

Lady in Red in elaborate feathered head-dress

I watch her sashay across the grand lobby. Click, click, click, click, click go her stilettos on the marble floor. I notice other heads (mainly well-heeled be-suited males) tracking her course.

She is the Lady in Red. Not the one made popular in that song -- although maybe she was the inspiration, who knows? -- but Siam Kempinksi Hotel Bangkok's Lady in Red.

They are the 'brand ambassadors' for the hotel chain worldwide, I'm told. In fetching outfits designed and tailored in Milan, no less. They are somewhere between a concierge and guest relations officer. "Anything you need, you can ask her." Reality is, she is more useful on internal things around the hotel. The hotel does in fact have a very knowledgeable and charming full-time concierge.

"Sometimes when she has a day off, guests complain to me 'Where is the Lady in Red?', the hotel's PR guy tells me. Jing jing.

Which brings us to the other front-line staff. As Sofet took off from reception to show us to the room, her smart silk outfit seemed to sprout wings, and I was afraid she might literally take off and hit the soaring 30m ceiling of the grandly pillared lobby. Turns out there's a cape attached to her uniform.

"It's actually old Thai design, but many call us Supergirls," she laughs.

It's little touches like this that signal Kempinski is cut from a slightly different cloth.

PS: Does anyone know who was the inspiration for Chris De Burgh's song Lady in Red?

Whoever heard of a FREE mini-bar at a luxury hotel???

Kempinski used to have a hotel in Bangkok many years ago. Then it burned down, so the city was Kempinski-less for several years.

I remember that hotel for two reasons. One was because the name was hard to remember -- let alone pronounce -- at the business end of the evening. I remember pouring myself into a taxi one night and asking the driver to take me to the "Penkinski pleasshh"!

However, the main reason I remember the original Kempinksi was because it was the first hotel I'd stayed in which provided an in-room DVD player as part of the standard kit. Wow! (This is probably around 1995???)

Glad to report the new improved hotel, the Siam Kempinski Hotel Bangkok, is every bit on the cutting-edge of gadgetry today with an integrated media system which links TV, CD and can be used as an internet monitor too. They also give you 2 free movies per day.

The sound system is GREAT (and sincere apologies to guests in the rest of the Royal Wing). I cranked it up big time, listening to some new CDs I'd bought. The integrated set also does many other whizzy things which I didn't have the time to figure out and use, although I did wonder why it didn't include an iPod dock in addition to its own library of tunes.

Good news: the contents of the mini-bar is free. Yes, read my lips: F.R.E.E. Eat and drink whatever you find in it without having to call your bank manager first.

So much for the toys. The vibe of the Kempinksi is grand indeed with artful Siamese touches. Four thousand of them to be precise, jing jing. 

"Every piece is specially done ... you cannot buy at JJ Market," laughs the hotel's sales guy. 30 Thai artists and 200 original pieces are displayed in the hotel. "It's like walking into an art gallery 24 hours a day."

 In the lobby, 10m long gold Thai fingernails adorn columns. A vase of peacock feathers so pompous it would put the Raj in India to shame. Back-lit alabaster marble in quantities so vast you wonder if there's any hillsides left in Italy whence it comes. A giant lotus sculpture also dominates the lobby, testament to the origins of this block of prime city land which was a lotus pond before.

Where is it? Good question: directly adjacent the stylish Siam Paragon shopping centre downtown. Perfect! That's a lot easier to tell taxi drivers than "Penkinski".


Read more about the 'Penkinski' here: http://www.kempinski.com/en/bangkok

A story that's sure to put you to sleep ...

The hours of sleep really pile up on the Heavenly Bed.

You are feeling sleepy, very sleepy ...

We've all seen hypnotists at work in the movies, on TV shows, maybe even in real life. Turning normal people into soporific sloths with pocket watches swinging on chains in front of their eyes.

Well, I think the Westin Grande Sukhumvit, Bangkok, has a secret team of hypnotists at work somewhere in the hotel, working their magic on their guests. I say this because the moment I saw their huge bed in our suite I felt a strong magnetic field force urging me to lie down on the bed. Resistance was futile. I could feel myself being pulled ... closer ... closer ...closer ... touchdown ... aaaaahhhhh.

Westin has invested millions and millions of real dollars (as opposed to say Zimbabwe dollars) in developing their Heavenly Bed [insert trademark and all the other small print stuff which means 'this is our name and our idea and don't you dare copy it or we'll get our lawyers onto you an infest your armpits with 1000 fleas'].

The Heavenly Bed is essentially a mattress with approximately 9,000,000 springs, jing jing.

This is topped with a special soft mattress layer. Then they cover you in 250-count sheets. To the layman, that means it's really smooth and soft and downy. Then there are about 15 pillows on the bed for you to choose and use. So there's one that's j-u-s-t right for yzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.




See more about Westin Grande Sukhumvit at www.starwoodhotels.com/westin

More than Four good Points about this Bangkok hotel ...

Spot the difference: one is a hotel, the other a famous painting

I am a big fan of Mondrian. You know, the Dutch neo-plastic painter who used to paint geometric patterns of squares with patches of colour here and there?

Somehow, this new hotel, nestled handily right off Sukhumvit Soi 15, brings the feeling of his art to mind. Bright and bold shapes (you can't miss the giant red street-to-roof lightbox which dominates the soi for a start). Then there are flashes of warm colour here and there, enough to excite, not too much that it's overkill. A nice balance found.

Mondrian slept here. Not really.

The same for the rooms. Although fairly earthy in tone, there's enough colour (red accent panel on the wall, swirling mural pattern) to loosen it up and give it that 'just right' feel.

They've got a good technology story too, with a handy jack-pack which allows the modern person-about-town to link all their toys to the TV and sound system, recharge their mobiles, plug in their laptops, plus all the must-have tools du jour such as iPad, iPod and iRon.

Four Points by Sheraton is all about the Simple Pleasures. And no pleasure is more simple than watching the world go by from their very own Beer Vault, sipping on a European beer, and seeing all the colour of the passing street parade while in air-conditioned comfort. (As part of my exhaustive research, I also sipped European beers in many of their other outlets such as the trendy AmBar round the pool on the rooftop.)

The Eatery seems solar powered

A real outstanding feature to me is The Eatery. I've had breakfast at a thousand different hotels over the years, and The Eatery stands out -- no, not for the originality of its name -- but just for the feeling it imparts. A feeling of well-being. Of waking up ALIVE. It's fun and sunny and gets you off to a great start to the day. (Of course you can drop in here for a bite anytime around the clock.)

But I do have one dispute with the hotel and it really does make me see red: their website says, and I quote, "only 5 minutes walking distance from Asok Station, the interchange station for the skytrain and subway." 


Rubbish! Don't believe them -- I reckon it's only about 3 minutes, jing jing.




Visit their website: http://www.starwoodhotels.com/fourpoints

Fighting breaks out in Pattaya

Just shortly before he punched my lights out. 

I recently blogged about the Fairtex Hotel and Sports Club, where the whiff of liniment and thwack of gloves on body herald the fact that it would not be mistaken for The Ritz any time soon.

As a bunch of wannabes lunged and thrust and kicked and jabbed in the Muay Thai rings around me, one quiet figure stood off to the side, observing. He looked like quite a nice boy, so we got chatting.

Well, chatting's not the right word ...

I started with what I thought was an easy question: "What's your name?" Fair enough, easy right? Well, the delay that ensued before his response allowed me to go off to the men's room. He was still thinking. So I dashed off to grab a cup of coffee. Still thinking. Went for a bite to eat at the cafe. Still thinking.

Eventually, having considered his answer carefully, the answer came: "Lor." Clearly this man had been hit in the head far too many times.

It turns out I was talking with Mana 'Lor' Chaiknansuk, a good looking guy from Chaiyapum who's reached number 2 on the Muay Thai rankings. After 9 years in the sport he reached a peak and dropped off, and is now making an earnest comeback. At the age of 22. There's not an ounce of fat on him; there again he's not as muscular as I think a prizefighter out to be.

Now he's here from 7am each day, running. This is followed by a 2-hour training session from 8-10am and another each afternoon from 3-5. Gee, this guy puts in more hours than the average travel writer, I think to myself, jing jing.

Lor's knee-into-gut move.

"I want to be Thailand champion," he tells me, in a voice which is almost a soft whisper. I've got all day so I decide to ask him a couple more questions to help me get inside the head-space of a kick-ass Muay Thai boxer. I use the term 'head-space' deliberately.

So what does he, um, think, before a fight? Pause. Think. Cogs whirring. Eventually he delivers his wisdom: "Strategies to win it."

He rates his elbow strike and knee into the gut as his lethal weapons. He demonstrates a little too eagerly on me.

So why has he been successful? Clunk, clunk, whirr. Lunch order. Siesta. Set the alarm. Back to ringside to receive his answer. "Determination. Regular practice."

By now I've run out of tape on my recorder and the battery's nearly flat. I sadly have to call this incisive interview to an untimely halt, dashing my chances of a Walkley Award for investigative journalism which Lor's full story would have surely delivered me.

I just hope he doesn't read this -- he'll beat the living daylights out of me.