In northern Thailand go go to the Wiang Haeng Cowboy Bar

As the marketing slogan goes, Amazing Thailand always amazes you. Well, I'm here to tell you folks about something truly surreal ...

Don't walk this line ...

Picture a scorching day in the mountains near the Thailand Burma border around Ban Chong, where the Wiang In temple has a rickety bamboo fence running between its two major Burmese-style structures. Half of it is in Thailand, the other Burma. The fence line is said to be mined and I'm prepared to accept that rumour without verifying it personally.

Skirmishes here as recently as 2002 pushed the Burmese back to the top of the hill, from where their border patrol now look down at us gawking at the temple complex and memorials to Shan state warriors in the area.
All of this puts you in a very exotic Oriental head space.

Then, 20 minutes down the road, through beautiful teak wood-lined roads, we arrive at the insignificant town of Wiang Haeng. A rice paddy here, a buffalo there, a temple on that side, and the Cowboy Bar.

A real cowboy town ...

What the ... ??? An imposing wood-plank structure with a pink sign on its roof reading, yes, that's right, Cowboy Bar, jing jing. East and West come smashing into each other in a spectacular and surreal cultural collision.


With a screech of brakes, I affect U-turn to check it out. Statues of cowboys adorn the veranda outside, with a set of real live swinging saloon doors leading inside.It's straight out of High Noon and I expect John Wayne to be propping up the bar inside.

Instead, I meet the grinning Mr Tan, who could pass for Charles Bronson after a few Leo beers. (Not that ever I've seen Charles Bronson drinking Leo mind you.)

Charles Bronson after 4 Leos

I buy Mr Tan (who pronounces his name to rhyme with 'fan' not 'fun' as most foreigners would) a beer and ask him some tough questions as I Walk the Line blares out from the elaborate KTV set-up on the stage behind. Yes, they play both kinds of music ...

So, how do you get a country and western saloon all the way out here? "This is a cowboy town," he says, "everybody work with cow and buffalo."

So, are you a big fan of country music, Mr Tan? "Yes."

So, Mr Tan, who are your favourite country music stars. Silence. Do you like Johnny Cash? Blank stare. Willie Nelson -- you've gotta love Willie Nelson right? Um, Hank Williams? After some considerable thought, a glimmer returns to his eyes, and the laconic Mr Tan delivers up his words of wisdom. "Lennon John."

He opened this place about 4 months ago now, and it seems to do a roaring trade at lunch, afternoon, and dinner. He's even got bungalows out the back across a big fish pond type thing. "You should stay." I will next time for sure now that I know the Cowboy bar is here. In fact, a posse of us are going to come back all dressed in black, with 10-gallon hats on, and make complete country bumpkins of ourselves.

As we enjoy the fading rays of evening sun, a few of the local cowgirls bring out some snacks. Nice and crispy french fries and, um, fried frog legs. Suddenly it's Le Coq d'Or or Le Cowboy Bar et Bistrot. We're a long way from France. In fact, we're even a long way from ANY damn place here. Especially Soi Cowboy.  Turns out the frogs are from the rice fields around; a local delicacy. I pass. One of our group, a Thai lass nicknamed Kob (frog) turns cannibal.

Charles Bronson MUCH later

In case you get the wrong idea about this place, it's not a Thailand Go Go bar. Simply a country-themed pub restaurant (and goodbye to those readers who were only interested in a story about a pub full of Thai girls) about 2.5 hours northwest of Chiang Mai. In fact Mr Tan has never heard of the notorious Soi Cowboy nor Patpong famous for their Bangkok nightlife. He's just an innocent country boy.

Yelps of "Yeehaaa!" echo across the valley as Johnny Cash's I Walk The Line comes on for a second time (maybe they only have CDs in their collection?).

So are we the first farangs to come here, I ask? "No, have a couple of Americans before." Gee, they must've been lost to find this place. Or Mormons on patrol.

With lots of back-slapping bonhomie, we promise Mr Tan we will be back. (I think he looked pleased!).

With that, we saddle up and ride off into the sunset out of Dodge ...

Go country at www.cowboywianghaeng.com

Sukhumvit Bangkok nightlife - Sukhumvit Rd Soi 33's renaissance

Don't you hate it when old timers reminisce and say things like, when I was a lad, all this here was just open fields?

Well, I'm going to do exactly that!

On my first visit to Bangkok in 1987, a friend of mine suggested we get out of the busy downtown Sukhumvit area, and go for a quiet drink in far-flung rural Sukhumvit Soi 33.

After what seemed like days in a taxi we pulled into this soi, and trawled through low-rise darkened shophouses until we came across a couple that had lights on. Monet and Manet, I think their signs declared them to be. Oh, my friend's brought me to an impressionist art gallery I naively thought.

Wrong! They were Bangkok bars, but cut from a distinctly better cloth than the Bkk average, where barmaids in long flowing dresses plied us with beer and banter. A very pleasant memory ...

Fast forward to 2010 and so much has changed, but there again not really.

Monet and Manet are still here. But joined by other impressionists and surrealists. Such as Degas, Renoir and Dali.

But the latest entrant is 'The Horse Says Moooooooooo.' Jing jing! Can you imagine going to your bank manager and asking for a loan to start a new business called The Horse Says Mooooooooooo?

Near Phrom Pong BTS station, the street is initially dominated by the Lotus Hotel (formerly Novotel), and the cavernous Londoner Brew Pub, and then there's travel agents, restaurants, massage places, live music bars (Music Station has good vibes), and other bars -- but not of the go-go variety. If you want Coyote dancing, check out Mojo's.

The Office Bar & Grill is a great place to watch sports and get a great meal, as is Tenderloins Bar and Steakhouse (burgers only about 200 baht). The Office Bar is equipped with full-service secretarial support whereas Tenderloins is more of a restaurant but has a pool table too.

Livingstone's is another surreal site: giant elephant tusks herald this African hunting lodge-style hotel (moderately priced around 2000 baht per night) daubed in gaudy ndebele design. A drink around their pool is most pleasant and other-worldly. A little slice of Africa right here in Bangkok.

Basilico Pizzeria have some of the best Italian food in Bangkok, and about 10,000 choices of pizza, straight from their giant open ovens.

Further up and on the right is Bistro 33, pleasantly tucked away in a gracious old house. They often advertise attractive meal-and-wine buffet specials.

Soi 33 is now a busy, lively, and colourful hive, and very popular with the farang expats living in Bangkok, more so than with tourists. As such, it's a little more pricey than other areas of Bangkok, but it's nicely decked out, friendly, fun.

Some would say a real masterpiece of entertainment. That's my impression anyway.