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You like bawdy storytelling? The mother of all Asia expat books is out now ...

Colonel Ken rides again! The latest Hardship Posting book - Vol 5 (which some are nicknaming Sexpat in the City) is now on the shelves.

Stu Lloyd, the creator of the “Hardship Posting – True Tales of Expat Misadventure in Asia” series has finally delivered on his promise for the next volume in the series, Volume 5.

The Hardship Posting series collects contributed stories from expat readers in all parts of Asia, with each book containing about 400 amusing and amazing stories, covering all topics from airline experiences, to dodgy immigration officials, work stories, to language and miscommunication faux pas, to hotel and holidays gone wrong, maids and drivers, and of course stories about girly bars and ladyboys.

“For years readers have been hounding me for the next volume, and for 10, 11, 12 years I kept saying ‘Next year, next year …’. Suddenly we find ourselves 15 years down the track and here it is,” the author admits. “In the meantime, there’s a whole new generation of expats who’ve never even heard of these books – whereas once it was impossible to miss them at every Asian airport. Now we’re working hard to re-find that audience.”

Hardship Posting kick-started the whole Asia expat books genre in 1999, and even outsold Harry Potter in Thailand. “Briefly!” adds Lloyd.

“I’m pleased that the expert on all such matters, the one and only Colonel Ken was again up for the challenge again, and colourfully links each chapter with his unique perspective as a barstool philosopher,” says Lloyd.

“Volume 5 is the biggest and the best one yet is what you’d expect me to say, but technically it is – 500 stories coming in at a whopping 488 pages, submitted by everyone from the CEO of a global Wall St listed company, to a Bangkok ladyboy bitching and moaning about her foreign customers. This volume really offers the full 360-degree perspective of expat life for the first time.”

There are also a dozen specially commissioned cartoons by Pattaya-based English cartoonist Mike Baird, whose humourous insights grace newspapers in the region. “We adapted a few of the existing thousands he’s done over the years, and the rest I gave him the stories and he fit the cartoon to that.” Previous contributors have included Hong Kong-based cartoonist, Larry Feign.

One of the things that makes this one of the funniest ex-pat books you'll ever read
are the 12 cartoons by "Cartoonman" Mike Baird.

Legendary photographer Patrick ‘Shrimp’ Gauvain was once again the go-to photographer for the captivating front cover image. “People say don’t judge a book by its cover. I say, it’s ALL about the cover,” jokes Lloyd, who’s lived in Hong Kong, Singapore, Thailand and China since 1987.

Reviews have included Liz Davies, from the Alabang Ladies Auxiliary, Manila saying: “There should be a warning on the cover not to read it in airports – I laughed like a drain.” And Nury Vittachi from the HK Standard: “Sleazy, disgusting, politically incorrect and shockingly insensitive – I loved it!” So it’s for those with an open-minded sense of humour.

Stu Lloyd has notched up 30 years as an expat in Asia now since arriving in Hong Kong in 1987, and since having lived in Singapore, Thailand and China. “I was thinking of calling it Crazy Poor White Folks after the great success of Crazy Rich Asians,” he jokes. His other books cover colonial history, the Hash House Harriers, military history and travel, and have sold over 100,000 copies to date.

Hardship Posting Vol 5 is now available from bookstores in Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia, Hong Kong, Thailand, or from the author’s own site at www.stulloyd.com and www.amazon.com/author/stulloyd.

For the first time, the entire Asian expat books series is also available in eBook formats.

books about Thailand: Hardship Posting - true tales of expat misadventure in Asia ...

Let me start with full disclosure. The author and editor of the Hardship Posting series is someone I know really well. Have done for years. In fact, all of my life. We grew up together, went to school together, and are practically inseparable as adults.

Well, it's um ... me. Jing jing!

I am blogging about this series of books now because they are just being released for the first time ever in an e-book format on Amazon. Click here to see inside the book online [insert subliminal ad message here -- Buy it! Buy it! buy it!]

Some have said it's the best Thailand travel guide because it deals with Bangkok bars, notorious Thai nightlife, airport and immigration stories and so on. But it's not really a travel guide to Thailand like the Lonely Planet. Nor is it a novel set in Thailand. Instead, it is a collection of 400 amazing and amusing stories collected from expats in Asia, covering the full spectrum of life. It just happens that most of the craziest episodes seem to happen in the Kingdom, for whatever reason (such as the British gent who posed as the High Commissioner to impress Bangkok bar girls).

There are bent police, slimy con-men, corrupt officials, and shady taxi drivers -- in other words just another day in Bangkok or Pattaya! There are also philandering expat husbands, language boo-boos, moving company dramas, etc.

I could go on and on raving about it ... it makes me feel a little awkward to do so. Honestly. Rather, listen to what various readers and reviewers have got to say about the best-selling series of 3 volumes which has already topped 70,000 sales.

"Sleazy, disgusting, politically incorrect and shockingly insensitive; I loved it" - Nury Vittachi of the HK Standard raved.

"Good fun. Everybody gets the shaft. Indeed the 280 page book isn't long enough. This reviewer often chuckled out loud." - Bernard Trink, The Bangkok Post

And, finally, one more from The Expat Magazine Singapore, who said:

"A mighty collection of tales. The bawdy humour comes thick and fast throughout. A rib-tickling read for the not-so-faint hearted."

Those last two words are important. Don't even open the cover if you are the least bit thin-skinned. You WILL be offended. No wonder it's banned in China, and unwelcome in polite society just about everywhere else.

So luckily you can buy it and download it from the privacy of your own computer now.


[The cartoons in Hardship Posting Vol 1 above, are by Larry Feign, the whizz behind the long-running World of Lily Wong strip.]

If you like the 'Washing your balls' cartoon, I have plenty of Thailand golf course stories and reviews on this blog. Such as this one from Phuket.

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Driving Licence Thailand: the REAL Road Rules --- finally available!

Thailand Driving License: The REAL Road Rules finally available thanks to WikiLeaks! 

by Stu Lloyd www.thailandjingjing.blogspot.com

It is hoped that this definitive list will be soon be adopted as the official driving code of Thailand, in the absence of any other such known publication, so that all drivers on the road will act in strict accordance with it. 

# 1. The Mercedes Benz always has right of way.

#2. The more wheels you have, the more right of way you have. (Except when Rule #1 applies.)

#3. Anything with two wheels or less does not count as a vehicle and should be disregarded completely. Even if it’s a 1800 cc Harley Davidson the size of the average Thai house.

#4. If you need to turn off, then turn off. If that means a right-angled swerve across three lanes on two wheels so you don’t miss your turn, please go ahead. We’ll just fit in with your plan. No need to indicate your intention.

#5. If in the process of executing that turn, you cause three motorcyclists and a tuk tuk to end up in the ditch, add 5 points.

#6. Indicators should only be used in the following fashion. If someone is behind you and wanting to overtake, put on your right indicator. This means either a/ it is clear and safe to overtake now or b/ don’t overtake now a bus is coming over the blind rise at a speed approaching 130km/h. It will soon become apparent which meaning was intended.

#7. Do have as many Buddhist amulets on the dashboard as possible. If you’re involved in a fatal accident, never mind -- there’s always another life, and another …

#8. Traffic jams can be frustrating, so, as soon as you get any open space at all, get your vehicle to its highest possible top speed. As a guideline the rpm counter should be kept in the red zone in event of any open road.

#9. When joining a busy main road from a small side soi, proceed directly into the intersection without stopping – or even pausing – for other traffic. This selfishly indulgent act of stopping and checking will only cause confusion for those behind you, with the possible result of them rear-ending you.

#10. When on a motorcycle, do not wear a helmet, and ride as fast as the bike will possibly go while using cars, buses, elephants, and chickens as slalom course markers. Irrespective of traffic conditions, possible dangers lurking around the corner, and pedestrians foolishly crossing the road at a marked pedestrian crossing, maintain this speed (once again, the red zone on your rpm gauge is a reliable indicator). After all, in the event of some other idiot doing the wrong thing, you want to be killed outright, not maimed.

#11. On the subject of pedestrian crossings, these are known to farangs as ‘zebra crossings’. There are no zebras in Thailand. Ignore. Proceed as usual.

#12. Do not wear a seat-belt. This will delay you when you stop at 7-11 to buy more beer for the drive, resulting in late arrival for the party. This is not acceptable to your thirsty friends.

#13. In the event you become completely, utterly, motherlessly drunk when drinking with your friends do not -- repeat: DO NOT! -- leave your vehicle there and attempt to walk home. In your drunken state you might be tempted to actually use a pedestrian crossing on foot, without observing the golden rule of crossing any road in Thailand: look Right, look Left, look Up then look Down before you cross. The buggers will get you from anywhere!

#14. Red lights. This is merely an optical illusion – all traffic lights in Thailand consist of three different shades of green. What you think is red is actually just dark green. Proceed as usual.

As a public service for farang motorists and tourists, this code will be made freely available in Hardship Posting volume 5. See www.stulloyd.com