Slighty potty ...

Remember the movie Ghost? Control yourself.

Doi Din Daeng. I love the onamatopeic alliteration of the name and love saying it. Doi Din Daeng, Doi Din Daeng, Doi Din Daeng.

It actually means Red Clay Hill, and is a rather suitable name for this very artful pottery, located in the bucolic rice fields north of Chiang Rai city.(Except, there's no hill and, I'm led to believe, that they 'import' their clay from Chiang Mai.)

It's owned by a charming Thai-Japanese couple, with the super-artistic Somluk Pantiboon -- who was behind the first Bamboo Pagoda I blogged recently -- being the head ceramist.

They sell their product right there on the premises -- we picked up some great coffee mugs -- or you can order wholesale; many major hotels and restaurants number among their clientele for vases, dinner sets, bowls, wash basins, etc. (The Legend in Chiang Rai, for instance, got all its ceramics fittings from here, and I noticed an order for a well-known spa in Hua Hin being made, too.)

Somluk vents his frustration by chucking stuff at the walls.

They should put a bigger sign on the highway for people to find this place. A tiny little pottery piece is basically it, and  -- as suitably arty-farty as it is -- as you whiz by Highway 1 at 150km/h, dodging chickens and water buffalo, you're hardly going to notice it.

Even if pottery's not your thing, they also boast one of the coolest cafes in all of northern Thailand. A lovely setting among the old teakwood buildings, with scrumptious cakes and coffees. Worth coming here just for that.

But sadly, and surprisingly, no, um, glazed donuts. (Sorry, that was the only pottery pun I could think of ...)

Where is it? 49 Moo 6, Tambon Nanglae, Chiang Rai, 053-705-291. Going north on Highway 1 from Chiang Rai, it's about 15km south of Mae Chan on your right (there's a U-turn bay there after the big coffee shop on your right).

LIfe's a beach living in the mountains ...

Ok, my theory is this ...

People who live up in the mountains are just that little bit closer to the sun and therefore are more strongly affected by its harmful rays.

Exhibit A: Chiang Rai Beach.

On a recent trip to that city, a friend invited me to his house, "just 300 metres from Chiang Rai beach." Sorry come again ... the line's breaking up ... I thought you said beach.

"Yes, Chiang Rai Beach," he confirmed. Woah, ease up on that medication, my friend!

A quick check of the map revealed that land-locked Chiang Rai is 1000 or so metres above sea level and approximately 800km from the nearest beach in Thailand. In fact it's probably closer to go to a beach in Burma from there, jing jing.

But no. There, on a sweeping bend of the Kok River is Chiang Rai Beach. Umbrellas, deck chairs, massage service, ice cream carts. It could be Bondi, but with less sharks and less budgie smugglers.

Some of the locals have taken the beach thing one step further and call it Pattaya Noi. Little Pattaya.

There's a cool "isn't this great?" eccentric quirkiness to the place. Making do with what they've got this far from the ocean. But in fact, if you follow the Kok River for about 130km, you'll join up with the Mekong River, then if you follow that for about 1880km more, you'll empty out from the Mekong Delta into the South China Sea.

So technically, there is a grain of truth in calling this a beach.

The real legend of Chiang Rai ...

The Legend is a wonderful touch of Lanna magic right on the often-misty banks of the Kok River, adding a touch of adventure and mystery to your northern adventures. 

Any closer to the water, and it would be a floating hotel.

Starting the day with their hearty breakfast buffet against this backdrop harks back to an earlier era of pioneers' machetes hacking through the jungles of IndoChina. But ...

Thankfully The Legend is firmly planted in the 21st century. Its style is comfortably local, affording you excellent service but without the stuffiness that some bigger international hotels insist on. 

The top villas offer spa pools set in the privacy of their own lush garden, and bathrooms large enough to wash a herd of water buffalo in, jing jing.

Fountains and plenty of local wood make you feel comfortably at home in Lanna, but if you need to take things down a further notch, try their spa by the river with its soothing sounds of water and nature. That in itself is also a bit of a Lost World experience ...

Ok, Ok, maybe there's something in the drinking water here -- I told you it was close to the river!

124/15 Kohloy Rd, Robviang, Chiang Rai, 053-910-400; www.thelegend-chiangrai.com

Le Meridien in Le Chiang Rai

The sparkling diamond among Chiang Rai’s new glory box of hotels, Le Meridien is best positioned as a base of creature comforts from which to explore the wilderness of Chiang Rai. 

Actually the architects have done a fine job of creating its own wilderness, with the buildings set around a sculpted lake near the Kok River, and glorious old trees expressing themselves from between the various wings.

The rooms feel more like luxury apartments in Sydney, London, or New York, with a nouveau and chic design appeal. Muted greys and browns are slick yet homely, contrasting strongly against the greenery which imposes itself through the windows.

All of this contemporary design is integrated with local touches. Witness the lobby with a fleet of what look like alien spacecraft zooming across its wall, but actually are the lids of cooking pots or somesuch. Or the landscaping from the lobby which apparently allows one to imagine Budhha's eyebrows. Jing jing! (Perhaps after a few red wines at Chill Bar.)

The latest in technology is employed, such as the Global Adapter which allows you to charge MP3 players, your mobile phone, PDA, travel speakers, etc. Practical stuff, well done, Le Meridien!

While you can cocoon yourself in its luxury water-bound seclusion, including its top-rated Parvati spa and fine F&B offerings (great Italian at Favola, anyone?), it’s also in the same street as the lively Leelavadee Bar and a number of local eateries if you want to reach out and immerse yourself into the local life.

Le Meridien Chiang Rai is, as they say in the classics, ze duck's nuts.

221 / 2 Moo 20 Kwaewai Road, Robwieng, Chiang Rai, 053-603-333; www.starwoodhotels.com/lemeridien

Thailand's winter wonderland

As I read about a snowbound Europe, a flooded Australia, and a freezing eastern USA, I am currently enjoying a Thailand winter.

That's right, Thailand does have a winter. It's not always 32 and sweaty bollocks. Especially in the north.

People get around at night here with scarves and beanies on, because the mercury has plummeted to, oh, about 29 degrees. Actually, it's less than that. Chiang Mai mornings can be in the 12-15 degree range (daytime mid-20s and blue sky), and I was just in Doi Ankhang further north last week where we got 7 degrees and mist one morning, jing jing.

Cool. Actually $@%&* cold (that's 'freezing' for those trying to fill in the blanks at home) if your body is used to tropical temperatures.

But the best part of winter in Thailand is the flowers.  Especially in Thailand's numerous Royal Project flower gardens. Here's a selection of some of the floral beauty from Doi Tung ...www.doitung.com

Northern Thailand - Nirvana on two wheels

Your humble scribe with friends at the Golden Triangle.

When it comes to motorcycling, the northern Thailand's Lanna region really is heaven – or nirvana – on two wheels. Surprisingly excellent roads (the drivers, well, that’s a separate issue), stunning mountain and valley vistas, cheap petrol with smiling pump-attendants, plentiful accommodation in the 300-1000 baht a night range, tasty food on every corner, and we haven’t even got to the best bit yet …

In what other country can you have a hard day in the saddle and then stop in just about any small town and get a great massage for your weary bum that’ll cost you around 150-200 baht per hour? That's $5 or $6 to you.

It doesn’t matter what two wheels you get around on frankly. 100cc Honda Ladyboys or 1800cc Harleys are all the same to me (although I choose to ride a BMW F650GS) … just a way of getting out there and seeing what too few other visitors to the region are seeing. Away from the well-worn tour bus circuit. Most rental shops (see box) cater well in the 200-650cc range, bikes that are big enough to deal with the vertiginous challenges of some of the mountainous terrain and give you a comfortable enough ride along the way.

On the road to Doi Ankhang.

Before you head off, two words: GT Rider (www.gt-rider.com). This website is an amazing resource where keen riders (many of them passionate motorcycling residents of the north) write up ride reports, recommend hotels and eateries to stay or avoid, and generally clue you in to what’s hot and what’s not in Lanna. 

GT Rider was set up by Aussie David Unkovich who lives in Chiang Mai and has covered possibly one million kilometers on these roads over the last 30 years. Jing jing!

He also publishes the best maps outlining classic trips such as the Mae Sa Valley / Samoeng loop, the Mae Hong Son loop, the Golden Triangle, and so on. (GT Rider maps are available from many bookstores in Lanna and on GPS too.)

You can string these together to make your own customized itinerary. And, of course, there’s all the bits in between that make it really interesting … it may be a quaint hill-tribe village a few kilometers off the track, it might be a great coffee spot lookout (like 7km south of Mae Hong Son, where the guy has the kettle boiling on the log fire!). Well, you get the idea.

Rice padi in the Kok River valley.

As for my personal favourites, there’s the 1148 which links Chiang Kham to Nan, an endless windy road, perfectly cambered with gorgeous valleys (keep your eye on the road, though). Chiang Mai to Pai’s 482 curves. Highway 12 from Phitsanulok west to Lom Sak with picture-postcard valley views, flower gardens and coffee shops aplenty. All the arrow-straight highways between Uttaradit and Sukhothai where you can really put your machine through its paces … 

Which brings us to speed limits. I did see a police car. Once. Somewhere near Lamphun. Entering a town, signs read: ‘City Limit – Reduce Speed.’ It doesn’t say down to what.Mostly it’s up to the rider to ride according to the conditions within his or her own ability. Sometimes a brilliant road will suddenly become a 10m stretch of gravel, with no warning sign (at least not in English).  And then,  there’s other things you will routinely encounter on roads along the way: Stray dogs. Chickens. Water buffalo. Elephants. 

But the biggest hazard is other motorists and, on a serious note, the fatality rates in Thailand are extremely high; unlicensed drivers and riders, drunk driving, buses overtaking cars which are overtaking trucks who are passing a scooter on a blind rise round a sharp mountain corner on a single-laned road.

Which is probably why many opt for off-road riding as a better alternative.

 One of the most endearing things – and this says a lot about amazing northern Thailand and its people – is the amount of times I’ve had my bike fixed for free. Several times I’ve pulled into a bike shop en route up-country to have, say, my chain tightened. They put it up on the blocks, a couple of guys spend 10 or 15 minutes tightening it, then wave you on your way; no charge. ‘No, no, I just help you,’ they say. I insist on tipping them 20 or 40 baht. Another time I had a new brake light put into my BMW. Parts and labour 30 baht. (This is NOT at the official dealership by the way!).

So what are you waiting for? Mount up and enjoy Lanna.

Footnote:

Touring and rental companies Chiang Mai

Asian Motorcycle Adventures

080-493-1012, info@asianbiketour.com; www.asianbiketour.com

Mr Mechanic (off-road tours)

4 Soi 5 Moon Muang Road, 053-214-708 http://mr-mechanic1994.com

Thai Bike Voyage (BMW’s)

97 Moo 5, San Kamphaeng, 053-115-802; www.thaibikevoyage.com

Tony’s Big Bikes

17 Ratchamanka Rd, 085-107-2893; www.chiangmai-motorcycle-rental.com

Touring and rental companies, Chiang Rai:

TS Motor

527/5-6 Banphaprakan Rd, 053713652; st_motorcycle@hotmail.com

Enduro Thailand (off-road tours)

535 Moo 16, Soi Den Haa 9 / 1, T. Robwiang; www.endurothailand.com

Rental Shop Pai:

JJ Offroad Rentals

100/1 Chaisongkram Rd, Pai, 089-560-0613

The Man in Black ...

Your scribe feeling too freaked out to be horny.

Sorry to all my loyal readers who think this story is about Johnny Cash ...

Rather, this is about Thawan Duchanee. And the 30 Gothic black houses he has built in Chiang Rai called Baan Dam (meaning Black House, and absolutely nothing to do with Jean-Claude Baan Dam). OK, I'm going to need you to work with me here as I explain.

Around 36 years ago, Chiang Rai artist Thawan -- whose looks could easily be mistaken for Ho Chi Minh -- had a dream. Apparently it was about clouds and snakes and wild horned beasts with large tusks. So he set about building all these elements into a soaring Thai-style house in the bushland on the road from Chiang Rai to Mae Chan. It's main theme was black. With a little more black on top of that. And surrounded by a bit more black for good measure.

Imagine a tattooist's favourite recurring Gothic nightmare. Imagine Piccasso's famously turbulent anti-war painting La Guernica. Now slam the two together and you have Ban Dam. Jing jing!

 He built the first house which caused quite a stir. So he built another. And another. And another. With the aim now of completing 42 of these edifices whose jagged black roof-lines appear starkly above the tree-line.

The elaborate roof of just one of the out-buildings

I mean, these are BIG houses. The main hall of just one of them is probably 50m long and, gosh, about 40m tall. Solid teak.

The reddest of red-necks from Texas would envy his collection of bulls' horns which adorn doorways, chairs, and apparently make great coat-stands too. I don't know how else to describe it. Then there's the dinner setting made from all things bovine -- black-and-white cowskin table cloth, cow skull chairs  ... just hope that the main course is not beef.

Detail from a nicely understated lounge suite

Then down the bottom of the huge complex there's what looks like a big black pig lying down. It's eyes are large portholes, through which you get a glimpse of sir's master bedroom. Well, bugger me, if that's not an S&M dungeon my name's Snow White.

It has to be seen to believed is the usual cliche. But I've seen it. And I still don't believe it ...







Footnote: Baan Dam is located on the Chiang Rai - Mae Chan Road, 18km south of Mae Chan on the left hand side as you head north, just past the Singha warehouse.

Chiang Rai eateries ... from plastic to rubber to world class

In Chiang Rai now you can have your cake and eat it, too.

Dining options in Chiang Rai at one time were limited to the plastic table shophouse set ups and American fast food outlets near the bus station. Not anymore ...

The Night Bazaar is a sound option for al fresco beer and grub, and there are a good number of casual, rustic Thai restaurants and European style eateries dotted along the main drag, Paholyothin Rd. Among these, The Old Dutch (053-714-282) is a favourite for breakfast (and lunch and dinner, etc) blow-outs, while Da Vinci’s (053-752-535) is a good bet for pizzas and pastas.

Otherwise, the wacky and wonderful Cabbages and Condoms (053-719-167) restaurant stands right next to the Hill Tribe Museum with its clever condom-fringed furnishings and decorations (I'm talking about the restaurant now, not the museum!). Like its sister venue in Bangkok, C&C is devoted to promoting condom use to help prevent juvenile pregnancy and STDs. 

But some critics have said the food tastes a little rubbery ... jing jing!

For something a bit more touristy, the Tohngtueng Kitchen (053-756403 www.tohngtueng.com) is quite central and puts on enchanting dance shows to accompany its northern style food in a very evocative setting. But for atmosphere (and food), few places will beat Moom Mai (053-716-416), a two-storey Lanna house with rather eclectic garden collections (Balinese fountains and crazy singing pigs anyone?), and live Thai/Western folk music nightly.

Oh, but if you ARE interested in American fast food outlets, try World Class Hamburgers (053-712-712) at the Air Force Golf Club. They are as the name says.